Friday's Feel Good Live Better - what being a mum has made me!

I spend a lot of time talking and listening to parents, it's part of my job and the one thing that is always talked about is how much life has changed for us personally now we have a small person in our life, we tend to focus on the negative impact on ourselves like less sleep, feelings of guilt, how much our bodies have changed and lack of social life and of knowledge of what the latest trend is. I'm guilty of this, I think lots about how life has changed and talk to others about stretch marks, interrupted sleep, no time to do my hair or limits a toddler can put on life when when it comes to being impulsive or spontaneous, but the other day I started to ponder the things about motherhood that had actually changed me for the better, not just seeing your baby smile for the first time but actually made a difference to my character, things that I like about me now more now that I am a mum...

I've got organised
I realised being a parent has made me more of a morning person, I get up early and get things done and I absolutely love this new side of life, which leads me to now finding a way, that works for me, to being more organised, although I still have a fair way to go on this but I like what I'm seeing so far!

I've got less hung up on me
All I really had to think about was what I needed or wanted but becoming a mum has also made me a bit more selfless and much more patient which I am very grateful for, I truly underestimated parenting being such a learning journey about who I can be inside and what my values looked like.

I've got creative
I love that I'm finding a more crafty side to me now through encouraging my daughter to be too, I always felt that it was there but never fully embraced it, since she was born I have learnt massage, how to sew a dress, bake a rainbow birthday cake, craft an Easter Tree, how Zumba (my latest passion) and really started to throw myself in to writing more, although I still don't do as much as I'd like.

I'm seeing new positive sides to me all the time and although parenting can be hard going, it has given me a chance to evolve not just so I can care for my daughter but to also be a better version of me and I like this!

Monday's Moment of Wisdom - Pearl Number 37

Photo by D. Cannon

I think it can be easy to fall in to the role of being a victim, I know I have done this in the past, many times and in many ways, it's easy to place the blame on to others and hold them responsible for your fears, misgivings or failures. Sometime you can find yourself in this role because someone has taken your confidence or self control away, you may find yourself stripped of a power you once possessed and this is a new place for you to be in. No matter how you find yourself here it can be tricky rut to get out of...

Victims of crime and abuse may find that a spirit they once felt, one that made them present or alive has left, that someone or something has taken this away, they feel helpless and finding that courage to move forward and break out of this patten is hard, some times impossible or just out of their reach. There are some really amazing people, organisation and books out there to help anyone who is this situation to find that courage inside again, reaching out is just the first step back to a life of being in control of you.

I think this is also true of people who are victims of their own doubts and fears that they place on themselves whether that be a phobia or a lack of self confidence, reaching inside and finding that power again can help them move forward, but it's not as easily said than done. So how do we find this courage and bring out the heroine or hero I ourselves?

Education I think holds the key, not necessarily going to school or being super smart, more like being street wise and learning about the world, investing time and energy in yourself, getting to know you, what you like or don't like, what you think is or isn't acceptable, knowing how your mind works and using that to keep going forward. I also find talking to others about your own and their own experiences helps you to learn, I am also a big fan of self help books although I know lots of people can be cynical about them. 

If you found yourself stuck in a place, physically, emotionally, mentally that caused you fear would you know how to escape, to get yourself out of it? Knowing this information and being brave enough to act on it is what turns us in to the true heroines of lives, well that's just my opinion anyway!

I'd love to know more about what encourages you to be brave in your life, are there any particular rituals, books or actions you take when you start to feel scared of what's happening around you? What would you say to someone else to inspire them to no longer be a victim?