Feel Good Friday - Monthly Gratitude

Wow, I can't believe it's December on Sunday can you? Hasn't this month flown by!

As November draws to an end so do my thoughts on the end of this year, it's only natural to start thinking about what the last 12 months has bought and what lies ahead, this year has been full of a lot heartache for my family so reflecting on the thinks I feel thankful for helps to put it all in perspective and remember that even the littlest things can be a light in the storm, it's very important for your well being to remain in tact by appreciating the good when it happens.

So here is my gratitude list for November....

Time slowing down, we've really had space to breathe this month as a family, it's meant getting some long standing goals achieved and spending quality time together.

Patience, with myself, and with my family. Sometimes living under one roof can be crazy and stressful but these last few weeks I've really come to learn how to and patient with so many things in my life and it has been a true blessing, I urge you to really practice this art because it will really soften how you feel and how you live.

Faith, another thing I've been practicing this month. We have a lot of unanswered questions about what will come our way next year, we have some big plans and changes going on but can't quite see a path with them yet, so I'm learning to relax and just let it all unfold and see what happens, it's very liberating!

Hot Chocolate! I said at the start of the month that I would be indulging in this a lot more now the weather has turned chilly, oh and guess I better be grateful for my husband too as he makes THE BEST hot chocolate you can imagine, I really don't know how he does it! 

What has November brought to you, share some monthly gratitude bellow...

Organising me....

I always feel better when I organise myself, my life runs smoother, my family get more attention, I'm more creative and feel instantly happier. Making an effort to organise myself makes a huge difference, one I'm starting to take note of and make an effort to do, week on week out.

For me a paper diary is the best tool, I get buzz out of writing it all down, plans, ideas, lists and events, it seems to sink in more. My OH has often in the past encouraged me to use the calendar and to do list on my phone but to me it doesn't feel the same as having a solid diary in my hand.

Being organised with groceries and menus, exercise and activities, chores, errands and work just makes sense, I've had to try out a few different methods to find a system that works for me but I'm almost there now. As a child and definitely as a teenager my mother will tell you I was the most disorganised person going, looking back now I just don't think I had thought of finding a way that worked for me, especially as I grew older, and now that I do, it's so good!

Are your organised or spur of the moment kinda gal?

What helps you get your "thing" together?

Do share tips, ideas and thoughts below! 

Monday's Moment of Wisdom - Pearl Number 60

"The quieter you become, the more you can hear." - Baba Ram Das

So it's been really quiet around here the last week, sorry about that! We had a really bad time with sleepless nights, the worst since LC was quite a bit younger and it ended with myself and the Little Miss being I'll, don't let her angelic, sweet, innocent look in these pictures fool you, she is a demon when it comes to sleep and being settled in her bed!

Anyway this lead to me being behind in most things and my poor old blog being a bit neglected, I was feeling a bit guilty about this and all the other things I couldn't achieve until I stopped, stilled myself for a minute and took a look around and realised that actually, the world wasn't ending and wasn't it nice for a change to just relax, have some down time. I was stressing a little but my wise OH encouraged me to just enjoy doing nothing, enjoy being quiet and so I did, and it open my eyes up to so much more. I would definitely encourage others too do the same, if life gets a little busy or tiring just slow down, enjoying being quiet and see what you can see!

“Others inspire us, information feeds us, practice improves our performance, but we need quiet time to figure things out, to emerge with new discoveries, to unearth original answers.”
― Ester Buchholz

Monday's Moment of Wisdom - Pearl Number 59

LC making her wish with Daddy

“Creating means living.” ― Dejan Stojanovic

This last week I have really gotten stuck into some Christmas planning, I was trying to resist it but it really is quite hard to avoid now, it amazes me how much Christmas is already in our faces, through adverts, shops and supermarkets and people putting up decorations already - what's that all about?

This year seems the first time that LC really gets what's going on, I have to admit I am starting to let the Christmas wash over me too. I've started buying gifts, planning activities and looking through decoration bits making sure everything is how it should be, I want this year to be full of excitement for our family and it's starting to look good already.

The one thing I love about this season, that I have fond memories from the past of, is the traditions that get created with the festivities, we had some in my family when I was younger and I know the OH's family did too, for example his mum makes her home-made Christmas pudding every year and everyone in the family has a go at stirring the mixture and making a wish and ever since we have been together I have been able to join in this tradition and now LC is doing it too.

We have also talked about creating some traditions for our little family and this year we going to start doing the Elf on the Shelf for LC, you can find out more about this sweet little idea at the Elf on a Shelf website, it's a great way for building excitement for children but also teaching them to be patient. We also do stockings and have buck fizz and croissant for breakfast too, these are a few things we have included over the years and I know there will be more to come.

The great thing about Christmas is this, it can be what ever you want to create - this time of the year can be so stressful, upsetting, anxious and lonely for a lot of people and the pressure of it all can have such a negative impact on our lives in many, many ways. Whether you are on your own, with family, friends or work colleagues, you can make it want you want it to be, you can create the Christmas you hoped for. It doesn't have to be grand, expensive or all consuming, if you've had a bad year and experienced something that may change how you feel about Christmas or the sheer intenseness brings on a sense of feeling low and in despair then it just simply be something you get through, make the best of in a way that's comfortable or use as a time to reflect, it can look, be and feel how ever you want. 

So this year, no matter what your situation is, what can you do to create the Christmas you want?

What new tradition can you start for your family, friends or just for you that might bring you a festive glow?

How can you make this Christmas one that you feel at ease with, one that may give you the slightest glimmer of joy?

It would be lovely to read about your Christmas traditions or how you create that festive spirit for yourself, or maybe you would like to share what parts you find difficult, do write a comment below...

It's all about Me! (And you!)

So if you have been reading my blog this month you will know that I am on a bit of a quest to feel good about life this Autumn and not let those winter blues creep in. There are many things I am putting in place to keep me smiling but one of the most important things that I truly need to ensure I have is time for me, with out this, I will go bat shit CRAZY (ask my husband, he can vouch for this!)

I know lots of lovely people who actually find it quite hard to have some time for themselves, either they feel guilty, they are workaholics or they simple can not mange their time and over load themselves with commitments.

So how about you? 

Do you find time to indulge and invest your energies in to you?

Maybe this seems strange or uncomfortable?

Maybe the concept of doing something for yourself seems alien or maybe you find excuses not to because you don't like your own company, you don't know what to do with this time to yourself?

Last Monday's I talked about reaching out to find new connections to avoid being alone, this is important as loneliness can suddenly appear without you noticing and we all need to have a solid network of people around us who keep us moving forward and feeling lifted but a bit of alone time is healthy too and certainly learning to not feel scared or awkward about time with yourself is a positive thing.

I've known a few people go rushing in to relationships or stay in bad ones because the thought of being on their own is too scary. 

I've known a few people who have constantly said yes and over stretched themselves because they don't see that their time to themselves is precious and must come first. 

I've known a few people who have the important job of caring for others but were unable to see that taking care of their own well-being before others would help them be a better carer.

I've known a few people who will busy themselves with every other aspect of life to avoid being on their own because the feeling and thought of it strikes terror and anxiety through them.

I've known a few people who are very alone and on their own and are so sad by this that they can't see a way out of it, the feeling of being on their own is a negative sinking one instead of an uplifting positive one...

Do you recognise yourself in there at all? I know I have fitted in to one of these in the past.

So, how do we get some of this precious "me" time and how can we celebrate it, cherish it and truly thrive through it? Well here is some of my top tips for making the most of your time alone and letting it become something enjoyable and uplifting.

Plan how you are going to spend it. Sometimes I waste my alone time because I don't think about what I want to do with it or get out of it. Have a think about what you really want from it it will ensure it's a really quality time for you, especially if you feel nervous about being on your own. It could be anything from reading a good book, to gardening, booking yourself in to a spa or taking a day trip to a museum.

Schedule a regular time. This may feel weird at first but you know how you make appointments for the dentist, arrange a meeting or book your car in for an MOT? Do the same with your "me" time, write in your diary, on your calendar, to do list or kitchen chalkboard. This way you and everyone else knows when it's happening, make sure it stays non negotiable and that everyone knows this!

If you find you have an unexpected spare 10 mins, half an hour or day, whatever it is, have a mental list of go to things you like doing or want to do to fill these, you could even write them down somewhere safe where you can refer to them when you need to.

Relax in to it. If you are one of these people who finds alone time difficult, awkward or unnerving, boring even then finding a way to enjoy it is important. If it's guilt that's holding you back then spend some time exploring why you think you don't deserve it, write it down, reflect on it, what would you say to someone else who was in your shoes?

Does being on your own makes you uncomfortable? Think about all the things you are passionate about and see if you can use your "me" time to expand on them by either reading, learning or participating. Not sure what makes you tick? Use this time to discover more about yourself, do you like fashion, bird watching or biophysics? Are you a visual person? What is your signature dish? Did you have a favourite subject at school? Is their a cause close to your heart? There is so much out there in this big wide world, how can you embrace it? What help or support would you need to find out?

All these questions will lead you to a place of finding out more about you and enjoying your "me" time.

And if it's anxiety or lack of confidence that gets in the way remember to take smalls steps, one at a time!

Mindfulness will make you feel more present and enjoy the time for what it is!

Do you have any more top tips about getting the most out of time with yourself?
Or maybe you want to know more about how to enjoy your alone time?
Well, then leave me a comment below, I'd love to hear from you!

Monday's Moments of Wisdom - Pearl Number 58

I came across this quote again at the weekend, it's one of my favourites!

Last week felt like a bit of a start to a journey for me, I can't really tell you why but something in me just clicked, all I can say is that I feel like I a have a bright light inside of me glowing outwards and it feels amazing - for once I feel completely uplifted and full of joy - about everything and anything!

Though people around me are a bit surprised to hear this, after months of battling with my emotions it feels like I'm on top of it all a bit! Some days it's brighter than others but it just feels like a relief to feel good about life, myself and the future...

I can't guarentee them or myself how long this will last, a while I hope, it doesn't feel like it's going away anytime soon. I think it has come from months of really working hard on how I feel and what I can do to keep myself lifted and moving forward, I wasn't sure I was making progress but in the last week I've had a chance to really reflect on the last year and I've realised how far I've come in the last 12 months despite A LOT of adversity and now I see that those dark and negative experiences can only make myself and my life better and more richer in the long run.

It's helped to have a few good people around me, supporting me and believing that at some point I would find this place, so this week I have made a step, quite a big step actually in really loving who I am and my world around me and I am so excited to see what this new journey has in store for me...

Taking steps to start a new journey can be hard, what helps to make this possible? What hurdles need to be overcome and what expectations are there? Knowing what drives you really helps I think! 

Feel Good Friday...What I'm doing more of this month.

Following on from Wednesday's post, I am starting to think more about what I want to put my time and energies in to this month to make the most of it and feel good about myself. Now that our crazy time is over, obligations to others have come to an end and we can finally breathe a sigh of relief that we can slow down again I'm really wanting to spend November doing some things that I love.

Reading...

I'm always making promises to myself to read more, my husband will tell you of his despair at my ever growing pile of books on my bedside table, now that I do have a bit more time for me again I definitely want to invest it in reading books, my two must reads are Blog Inc by Joy Cho - I'm sure some of you who are bloggers may have already read or heard about this book, if not, do check it out, it's simply brilliant! I'm also going to be reading Stay Calm and Content No Matter What Life Throws at You by Cat Williams look out for a review coming soon on the blog.

Drinking Hot Chocolate...

This time of the year really makes me feel like indulging in some comfort and Hot Chocolate is a big one for me! This year LC has also gotten a taste for it and loves hers with all the trimmings of whipped cream and marshmallows, we even sprinkle chocolate on the top, so delicious! 

This week I came across an amazing blog post at Cashmere and Cupcakes her recipes for homemade Hot Chocolate and marshmallows looks to die for and I'll certainly be giving it go myself.

Cosy nights in and date nights out...

Since the OH has been away in Germany on business for the last 9 days and then our trip to Edinburgh before hand we have gotten behind on our favourite TV programmes so Im looking forward to a lot of catch up TV whole snuggled on the sofa with him, with glass of wine in hand!  

Although we've had numerous weddings over the last few months, it doesn't seem like we have had much exclusive couple time together, our trip last week was fun and it was great being just the two of us but we spent a lot of time rushing about catching planes and doing touristy things, truth be told we didn't get much time to wind down just the two of us so a few date nights to look forward to is just the remedy for this - I'm thinking a trip to the movies and dinner at one of our favourite hang outs, perfect!

Planning for Christmas...

Yes I said it - the "C" word! Now that Halloween is over I can finally turn my attention to the festive season although I am resisting it a little. We have had a few conversations about our plans this year, what we want to buy for LC and each other and I have booked tickets to the Panto (LC's first ever!) and Breakfast with Santa! My mum and I have decided to do a present shopping day together and hopefully get it all done in one lot but there is still so much to think about so I'm sure in the next few weeks I will get out a pen and paper and write out a good old fashioned to do list. Lovely Laura at My Pollyanna has also been thinking about Christmas planning this month, head on over to see what's at the top of her list.

So there it is, my top priorities for the coming weeks, I hope I've given you a bit of inspiration?

I'd love to know what's on your reading pile this month or maybe you could recommend a great date night movie. Do you have a winning Hot Chocolate combo you want to share or maybe some great tips on being organised through the Christmas season, if so do share in the comments bellow...

Make this Autumn a great one...

So it's safe to say we are well in to the new season! Halloween has passed, so has Bonfire night, Christmas may be on your mind now (maybe not?) and it's definitely time to brake out the winter woollies!

It's also a time when the winter blues can set in a bit, the festive season sometimes keeps our spirit up until January but if you are bah humbug about it all then you may already be feeling you mood dropping along with the temperatures...

So here I have put together some ideas about how to keep those spirits lifted through this season and in to the next!

Eat for Mind, Body and Soul

Last week we were carving pumpkins like everyone else and I was determined not to waste anything!

So we roasted seed by removing most of the flesh and blotting with paper towel, set them out on a baking try with a sprinkle of salt and cinnamon and put them in the oven for about 15 minutes, until they were a golden brown, let me tell you they were delicious, what a great snack too! I have a great Flapjack recipe here which I used pumpkin seeds in, it's a family favourite.

With the flesh I boiled it up in a big sauce pan with some carrots and a bit of vegetable stock, then I blended adding some tomato paste and creme freche for taste, eat with some crusty bread - a perfect autumnal lunch to warm and comfort you.

These next few months brings us many great seasonal goodies to try, learn a new recipe and experiment with, munching on as much fruit and veg as you can get your hand on will keep away the winter bugs too!

Do something different

The change in weather may see you becoming more of a home body, hibernating from the cold air and the dark evenings, this can lead to you being stuck on the sofa eating left over Halloween candy or mince pies and not feeling great about your life and a bit stagnated, so why don't you mix things up a little?

This week I came across a great idea from a lady who felt a bit bored with her life but knew she couldn't just drop it all due to the normal responsibilities and pressure of every day life so instead she decided to do one new thing a month and boy did she do some amazing things! Get inspired and read more about her adventures on her blog Mrs Ayla's Adventures.

So even though the year is nearly out you can still start planning some new things for the autumn/winter months, is there anything new you'd like to try or place you want to visit? Maybe there is class you have always wanted to take or event you want to go to? Is it your dream to fly to Lapland at Christmas or attend a lavish New Years ball in a stunning floor length gown? Ok well maybe they are  on my list of new things to do but you get the picture right?

Cosy up together! 

You may have seen me write this before but one of my favourite things about the darker evenings is cosying up with my little family and having some down time together and we have been making late Sunday afternoons movie time! LC is old enough now to sit down and really understand and enjoy films and we have been watching some good ones, we get snugly under blankets and indulge in a few treats its nice to just slow down and enjoy being together.

Having a family ritual is really exciting and fun to do, you may have young or older children and start something new with them, anything you can do as a family, feeding the ducks on a Saturday morning  for instance. You may be single or a couple and start a weekend ritual with your parents like meeting at the pub for a pint and a roast dinner or you could plan to meet up with your siblings, cousins, nieces and nephews at the cinema or start a family bowling league, even hot chocolate and skating at the ice rink, what ever you fancy! Go on start a new family tradition this weekend!

Minding yourself

One of my latest discoveries is mindfulness, it's been helping me to manage these last couple of months of ups and downs and allowed me to discover so much about myself, how I think and what really matters to me, I am definitely feeling more present in my life now. Learning to be in the moment instead of worrying about the past or present can really help balance out your mood and general wellbeing.

A great website that I have discovered lately is bemindful.co.uk - go and see what you think!
Another great website is Head Space - they have a great meditation app that I love using too!

I'd love to know more about what you're getting up to this season, how do you plan to get through the chilly and damp months ahead? Any great ideas or tips to share? Do leave me a comment below!

Mondays Moment of Wisdom - Pearl Number 57

Lately, I seem to be talking to lots of women about loneliness, it seems these ladies have families, work acquaintances, maybe old school friends they keep in touch with through Facebook, but no one they can say they have a real connection with. We all want friends around us, a family who we are bonded with and generally people in out lives to share moments with whether they are good or bad, having network of others who mean something and who we can spend our time with is very imporatnt and goes towards us feeling contented and valued. For many of people out there though this network of friendship and support is none existent and leaves many feeling isolated.

Some people love their own company, and believe me there are times when I love to have some proper "me" time to get a coffee, read a magazine or browse round the shops all by myself but I can find it difficult when I'm stuck by myself all day with no one to talk to, often I have my little side kick LC with me but there's nothing like a good gossip with a friend or a chat with your significant other at the end of the day. A lot of people are lacking this though even in this day and age of social media, face time and unlimited texting and have no idea how to reach out and meet others.

I can remember a time when I sat cold and lonely in my grotty beds it in my early twenties feeling rather down and out, I hadn't a clue how to connect with others, most of my school friends had moved away and I had made a few friends at work but no one I really connected with. I wish I knew then what I did now, that I didn't have to sit there alone, that there were ways to get myself out in to the world and find others like me, my tribe!

Of course now that we have Facebook, Twitter and Instagram to name a few it's much easier to start connecting to others, although you may find like me, a lot of people don't understand the friendships you can make through social media, I have though made some amazing real life friends this way who I couldn't imagine not knowing now. I certainly wouldn't cynical about connecting with others this way.

I also think that there is such a sense of community in our towns and villages now and it is a lot easier to get involved with local committees and groups in your own backyard just by simply visiting your local community centre, church or notice board at the supermarket and have a look at what's going on.

Maybe there's a book club or a walking group you could sign up to? A slimming group or exercise class or possibly you could volunteer for a local charity, these are all great ways of exploring your passions, you couldn't even get brave and start your own club or group. Another way is to meet up with other like minded people is to learn a new skill, perhaps you've always wanted to learn to knit or take great photographs, checking out your local adult learning centre will open you up to a new world of possibilities!

Now I know some people will cringe at the thought of putting themselves out there, walking in to a room of strangers or tremble at the notion of trying something new. When you lack confidence or self belief it's hard to be open to new experiences but I guarentee that someone else there will be or would of had the same feelings dread and know exactly how it feels. It's also worth considering that a room full of strangers will know nothing about a new person who might turn up that week, so we can be who ever we want to be, they can't see how nervous we are inside even if we can feel it, to them it's a new face, a new person to talk to and get to know, not the fear that's bubbling. By pushing that fear aside or just putting it in a box somewhere for a minute it gives way to great and exciting new things ahead.

I believe that what put out there is what we will get back, if we put out a signals of a friendly, genuine and eager person, we will attract those kind of people back, the kind we can build relationships with, discover new passions with and feel connected with.

Have you ever put yourself out on a limb and made a new friend?

Do you have a great idea for meeting new people?

How have you tackled loneliness or isolation in the past?

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this weeks Pearl of Wisdom